Little kids that go through chaos and disorder with their family members tend to be challenged to learn healthy limits and habits since they usually look at their parents as their role models in establishing the way in the world. An individual’s model of the world, which s/he uses in forming her/his relationships with others as adults, is often the product of observing the dysfunctional behaviors of caregivers. This influence can be observed in three fundamental areas: the way individuals perceive themselves, their communication skills, and their relationships with each other. Therefore, if people do not seek to nurture self-consciousness, the learned behaviors are likely to carry over into adulthood.
What is childhood trauma?
Childhood traumas are those stressful situations that a child experiences during the developmental period of childhood and could be detrimental to their mental health. These experiences can differ from one to another and could be physical, emotional, or sexual abuse, deprivation, witnessing violence, a natural disaster, an accident, or the death of a loved one. Childhood trauma can have lasting effects on a person’s emotional, psychological, and physical well-being, and these effects can continue into adulthood, affecting one’s relationships, behaviors, and the quality of life in general.
The following are the 12 ways in which unresolved childhood trauma can affect one’s adulthood relationship.
Need for solitude: Being brought up amidst the confusion and chaos can trigger anxiety in individuals that later manifests in a frequent need for solitude when they try to rewind and relax.
Serial monogamy: The fear of being hurt again and further seeking validation may push individuals into a series of short-term relationships.
Imbalance in responsibilities: financial or household responsibilities that may come from fear of dependence or unmet expectations from childhood.
Fear of commitment or avoidance of relationships: Doubts due to untrustworthy caregivers can cause rejection of relationships or refusal to form relations with others.
Desire to change partner: An attitude that relationships are not destined for change and the need to be liked by others can create a situation where the partner is pressured to change to get rid of the partner’s personal fears.
Fear of abandonment: Adults who have lived through neglect and/or rejection could have a deep phobia of abandonment; consequently, their fear can be differentiated by the desire to control their partner, e.g., via jealousy or possessiveness.
Conflict management issues: The absence of the opportunity to learn healthy conflict resolution methods makes the matter worse and either escalates to an endless quarreling or to a complete avoidance of any conflict.
Inability to repair after conflict: Relationships that have been damaged during a conflict may sometimes be even more difficult to repair; denial, avoidance, and silent treatment are among the ways to avoid communication.
Irritability or annoyance: Those who are used to dramatic situations can face difficulties in the ability to express their dissatisfaction in a good way; they can transfer intolerance to their partners.
Protracted relationships: People could be with the wrong person out of the fear of guilt or the need to make their partner better, which is like an unresolved childhood problem.
Difficulty in trusting: Childhood trauma may break down the trusting attitude, so it becomes difficult for an individual to be trusting in relationships and to fear a betrayal or an abandonment.
Emotional deregulations: Childhood trauma may cause problems with regulating emotions, which could manifest in mood swings, an inability to express emotions correctly, or being overly sensitive to emotional stimuli in relationships.
The overcoming of early-life trauma by support
Talking about childhood trauma, even as an adult, is receiving hope.
Effective strategies include:
• EMDR therapy (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing Therapy), which is an eye movement-based approach to relieving traumatic memory.
• Psychotherapy methods such as cognitive-behavioral therapy.
• changes in lifestyle, such as a healthier diet and better physical activity.
• giving to educational, social, medical, or any charitable causes as a means of helping people.
This way, they help develop ways and means for the maintenance of more meaningful relationships in the long haul.
A lot of people resort to various other options, like journaling, group therapy, spirituality, and different forms of self-reflection, for example. The process of releasing unnecessary actions that lead to self-destruction is vital for personal growth and connection.
