Sarah came to me for counseling on how she could survive the consequences of her divorce. It was like the third year of her married life ending; however, she had always been in a vicious circle of anxiety, depression, and frustration. She was aware that the negative thoughts in her head were ruining her chances of finding a new love because her recent attempts at dating had failed because of her envy of her ex-husband.
Dr. Emily Watson
In the first few meetings, I paid special attention to psychoeducation, telling Sarah how divorce can affect mental health in the long run if not properly coped with. As a team, we examined the reasons for her marriage’s fallout and pinpointed the pattern of her behaviour that she had to abandon to prevent a repeat of past mistakes.
Sarah’s emotions helped me realise that she had been put on the back burner during her marriage as her husband’s needs came first, even over her own. She had no time for her hobbies or for her old interests that used to bring her joy because now she puts all her energy into her marriage and motherhood.
One of our main objectives was to restore Sarah’s self-esteem and bring out her self-sufficiency. We prioritised her social support network restoration, suggesting her participation in some interesting activities or reconnection with old friends. Through this learning process, Sarah not only reclaimed her identity after a failed marriage but also gained a lot of confidence along with a new sense of direction.
Besides discussing the development of Sarah, we also paid attention to the effect of divorce on her kids. Though she strictly guarded them from seeing the rougher parts of her life, she acknowledged that they too were impacted by her battles.
Clinical Psychologist and Marriage Counselor
Connection between Death and Divorce
Despite the decreasing prevalence of divorce, investigations into the long-term consequences for physical health are still vital.
Now, research on the physical effects of a divorce has been running and it turned out that the person might have a serious chronic health issue even long after the divorce. The research published in the Journal of Males’s Health discovered that the deaths of separated people, both men and women, years after the divorce are higher compared to those of people who were not divorced.
Divorce is the turning point of our lives and can have a lasting effect on our emotional status and stress. Deeper than the immediate trauma, studies now point out that there are long-term health and mortality rates implications of divorce. Another study based on the National Longitudinal Mortality Study (NLMS) concluded the following:. Divorced individuals are more likely to incur fewer years than those who are married. The study discovered divorced men’s mortality risk to be 2.5 times higher than that of married men and for divorced women, that amounted to 2.0 times that of married women. This huge difference emphasizes the possibility that divorce has an effect on a person’s lifespan.
The research, based on information from the Health and Retirement Study (HRS), reports that the relationship between death risk and divorce is the same. Scientists found out that people who had gotten divorced before had a 27% higher chance of death throughout the studied period compared to their married counterparts. Interestingly, the subjects who had the highest risk of death were men, suggesting the possibility of gender disparities in terms of health outcomes in the aftermath of divorce.
According to Waite and Hughes’ findings, individuals who have experienced divorce or widowhood are 20% more likely to suffer from long-term health conditions such as heart issues, cancer, diabetes, digestion disorders, metabolic problems, and other chronic health concerns. Additionally, they are 23% more likely to experience disability in mobility, affecting activities like walking or climbing stairs.
However, the research also highlights the positive impact of remarriage on health outcomes. Individuals who remarry experience improved health outcomes compared to those who remain single after divorce or widowhood. Despite still facing 12% more chronic illnesses and 19% more impaired mobility than individuals who have never divorced, those who remarry see a notable improvement in their overall health.
Different studies from other countries have corroborated these facts, also showing the multiple expressions of the complex connection between divestment and the mortality rate. As an example, one study carried out within Sweden revealed that the mortality rates of male and female divorcees were higher compared to married individuals. This is especially puzzling since the death rate among divorced men increased during the first years after the divorce, reflecting, perhaps, the most severe effect that may affect their health during this period of change. The US Census Bureau data belongs to the same category as the rest of the key factors that shed light on the overall trends of life expectancy among divorced people.
Health Problems due to Divorce
Separation from the spouse can be one of the most difficult and mentally exhausting times in the life of a person, and the health problems that may arise may be both physical and mental. Here are some common health concerns associated with divorce:
1. Stress-related illnesses: Separation mostly implies a lot of stress, which in turn kills the immune system, making us weaker and therefore leading to ill health, for example, heart disease, high blood pressure and digestion problems.
2. Mental health disorders: One of the features of divorce that have been consistently shown is depression and anxiety; these are mental health conditions. It is quite likely that the mere fact of divorce may result in a person experiencing a state of grief, loss, loneliness, destruction, or injury, which in turn will cause long-term emotional stress.
3. Sleep disturbances: Stress and emotional upheavals disrupt sleep patterns, leading to insomnia or sleep disorders as a result. If a person has a deprivation of sleep, it can surely worsen the stress and therefore lead to other health problems.
4. Weight changes: Some people may find the ups and downs of dieting during or after divorce to be influenced by unhealthy eating habits, emotional overeating, and the loss of appetite. Weight loss may have a direct effect on health status and addiction to ease obesity-related diseases.
5. Substance abuse: Someone may choose the way out through alcohol and drugs, which could be utilized as a way to cover the emotional pain as a result of living in a divorce situation. Substance abuse also turns out to be a cause of aggravating existing health issues as well as culminating in an addiction.
6. Cardiovascular problems: Chronic stress during the divorce procedure is related to poor cardiovascular health conditions, which can result in the termination of heart diseases, heart attacks, and strokes. The chronic condition can lead to a rise in blood pressure, which at some point can cause cardiovascular diseases complications
7. Immune system suppression: Vulnerable people who are exposed to prolonged stress may be more vulnerable to infections and health issues associated with the immune system. Being chronically stressed does not give the body enough time to fight against these, causing more frequent occurrence of colds, flu, and other infections.
8. Chronic pain: The emotional damage from divorce can amplify already painful conditions such as migraine headaches, fibromyalgia, and arthritis. Stress brings an intensification of pain perception and difficulty in managing the primary condition.
9. Social isolation: A breakup of marriage can substantially disturb social connections and induce feelings of detachment and aloneness. Not having social support can have negative effects on mental and physical health. It results in a higher risk of depression and other physical ailments.
It is extremely necessary for people experiencing a divorce phase to always put themselves first so that they can reach out to their friends, family, or mental-health specialists, as well as adopt healthy mechanisms that will protect them from the health problems emanating from this life transition.
Taking Care of Yourself After Divorce
No doubt, divorce is one of the most stressful and testing life circumstances that no one can avoid feeling. The whirlwind of mixed feelings and changes in life is terrible. Of course, it is normal during this period to feel overwhelmed and nervous. But you have to realize that divorce can even impact your physical and mental health. Confronting the difficulties that you face and implementing the appropriate strategies for self-care will lay the groundwork for a new, improved and balanced post-divorce life.
For instance, a divorce process starts with admitting that you can’t find a solution for your happy marriage without a divorce. Please be prepared to carefully contemplate your reasons for even thinking about a divorce and seek reconciliation—all roads worth pursuing before any final step. A certified therapist or marriage counselor can be an invaluable resource to you during the time-consuming leadership process of making this decision, offering useful insights and helping you to learn from this experience.
Following the decision to divorce, it becomes equally important to trace out a path that will guarantee your mental health stays boosted. The properties of a divorce will vary from person to person, from grief to loss to anger to anguish. I grant you time to fully experience these emotions without the need to judge them. However, please don’t forget to look for help from your friends, relatives or a therapist. Immersing yourself in a strong and versatile support system can bring you the harbor you want and need during this tempestuous period.
Pay attention to activities that support relaxation and stress release. Instead of this, prioritize them. Get physical activities involved, find a way to be mindful or in a mediation state, and remind yourself about the appropriateness of sleep. Taking care of your body’s needs, including proper eating, sleeping, and exercise, creates a solid foundation for you to survive the unpleasant feelings of a divorce process.
Next, it behooves to identify all negative coping mechanisms that may or may not show up during this time, for instance, substance abuse or unhealthy eating habits. In the short term, they might decrease stress but in the long term, they will just make it worse, if not outright lead to a whole bunch of health issues. Rather than engaging in practices that involve overindulgence and denial, try and seek better coping and relieving methods such as journaling, artistic expression or nature walks.
While you proceed through the post-divorced transformation process, work at reshaping your understanding of yourself and your identity. Reconnecting yourself to those activities that give you a sense of fulfillment and joy is essential. So, as well as discovering activities that you enjoy, you can take them and try to explore new ones. Asserting your passions is a very important factor, as it brings back your self-respect and confidence in your newly guided life.
