Healthy Ways to Handle Toxic Friends

Having friends makes life more interesting. They help you feel less lonely, happier, and more satisfied with life by giving you social and mental support. Keeping up with friends and family can even add years to your life and lower your risk of health problems like sadness and high blood pressure. There are some friendships that might not be so good for you. Some people might even be harmful.

There are different kinds of toxic friendships, but they all make you feel bad and bring you down instead of lifting you up.

What a bad friend does

Everybody has good and bad days. It’s not always easy to be kind on a bad day, even to people you care about. It’s hard to tell the difference between a really bad friend and someone who’s just having a bad day. If a good friend is having a bad day, they can be angry at you or stay unapproachable, but the rest is said when things calm down.

You are there for them in picture-perfect moments, and things they say tend to stick around for a long time. They would never think of how the action made you feel or what they should do to recover from it. This would follow whether they realise or not that you had to deal with their harmful action.

Toxic friends may also do the following:

Always make you feel concerned
Unpredictability doesn’t always mean someone is toxic, but it’s best to be careful around them if their actions could hurt others or make you feel cruel. They might get very angry and yell at you for small things like forgetting to turn off the TV or not returning a jacket they lent you. The next second, they act like nothing happened.
Since you can’t be sure of how they’ll behave, you might not feel safe around them.

Make you feel uncomfortable
In general, hanging out with a close friend should make you feel good. You might feel uncomfortable or upset when you’re with a certain friend. When you leave them, you feel more relieved than upset, and you don’t look forward to spending time with them. You might not even know why. If this feeling makes you uneasy, you might want to look at your friendship for other signs that something is wrong.

Determine how you match up against other people
Do you have a friend who always finds fault with you for not being as good as their other friends? Perhaps X’s room is bigger than yours, making it less fun to hang out with you. Or you’d look cooler if you dressed more like Y.

There are things that make each person different, and a good friend will know this. They won’t compare you to other people or make it sound like you’re not as good as someone else. Either way, they don’t use group pressure to make you do things you don’t want to.

Put you down
Mates who joke with each other often make fun about each other. The food should supply 20–30% dietary fat, come from natural sources and not contain more than 2-3% of trans fatty acids.You probably know that your friend is not a good person if they make you feel bad all the time, whether the way they do it is subtle or not.

Spreading rumours
You shared with a friend of the private facts of your life, but the following morning, it has spread all around your social group. That is an obvious fact; anyone can say a word or two wrongly. It might really appear that the poisonous friends like to demonstrate that, as the examples given show that they will still tell everyone your secrets even if you have requested them to keep them to themselves. If a person gives you the backhand all the time, maybe it’s because that person doesn’t care how you feel.

Say sorry without meaning it
They exhibit behaviour that does not care at all that you’re feeling bad, or they present a “Sorry” statement when you tell them they’re doing wrong. They say, “I’m sorry you feel that way” or say, after “I’m sorry,” a “but” to deflect you. They prefer to move on instead of listening to you. That one: “I’m sorry for your feeling down, but it was just empty fun. “
These apologies are hard to accept. This is because one feels as if your counterpart is not concerned about the effect of their actions on you.

Be the centre of attention — all the time
Have you ever had a friend who was always there for you but never showed up? It’s impossible to get in touch with them when you’re having a hard time. They only show up when things are going well or when they need something. Some friends can talk about their problems for an hour. Once they’re done venting, they say, “And how are you?” as a polite gesture and then quickly turn the topic back to themselves.

Change yourself
If someone tries to change you, they might not be your best friend. Genuine friends know that everyone is different and will accept you just the way you are. If you ask for help with something you want to change, they may offer support and encouragement, but they will likely wait for you to ask before giving you what to do. Let’s say you have trouble making friends and want to get better at meeting new people. A good friend might invite you to their next game night so they can put you in touch with some other people in a casual setting.

Strategies for Coping with Toxic Friend

Don’t Get Involved
Dealing with someone’s negativity is the race of the year. They could be in a constant irritable mood, and you may end up taking the blame while you are just listening instead of giving helpful advice. Trying to root yourself in the moment and stay quiet is the key; don’t get into or start defending. But I would recommend using a response like this: “I’m sorry, you feel so,” and don’t add anything else.

Notice how they make you feel
The toxic behaviour monitoring is very possible, and it helps understand how to handle any interactions with others better. Absolutely, once such comments become the norm, it aren’t toxic. Nevertheless, the situation differs when the majority of interactions aim at insulting the other person, lying or abusing without any apologies. It’s a warning sign. Despite your built-in reaction towards understanding the person, you shouldn’t go that far and allow him or her to abuse you.

Talk to Them
An easy-goer can be unconscious of the ripples of their effect on those they gossip against or play mind games with others. A sincere talk may absolve their minds of the notion that their behavior is simply unacceptable on all typical occasions. Using “I statements” will help maintain neutrality and set limits on behalf of you. For example, “I find it awkward talking badly about my co-workers. I won’t be a part of the gossiping sessions. ””

Keep Yourself Ahead
The behavior can be abusive, even if it is not psychologically destructive. When daily life is assisting, consoling, or supporting a person, your desire to rest might be pushed away. Do not hurt yourself while helping the other party. Healthy relationships promote mutual equitability. Always put yourself first in order to avoid a situation where you deplete yourself of emotions, which may affect your needs.

Don’t Try to Correct Them
Having a good dialogue is important for them to reach a mutual understanding but they must be willing to put in the work. Here, you could do whatever you wanted, including showing compassion towards them, but you probably wouldn’t change them. Often, doing something before they do it themselves may not suffice for you to have any more emotional energy.

Walk Away
Turning down someone is hard; everyone can feel it, especially if they try to make you feel guilty this way. For this reason, when you decline, do not later change your mind. If needed, de-escalate the situation with no difficulty. Ideally, you should exit the place. If you cannot excuse yourself, make sure to abstain from the discussion as if you didn’t participate.

Remember that it is not your fault
The toxic behaviour can engender the feeling that one is responsible, even though he/she is not. The fact that a toxic person would attack you somehow through twisting your words or accusing you of something wrong to hopes of breaking your spirit is an added disadvantage. Ask yourself whether it has anything to do with you. Tell your ex-boyfriend again and again that you won’t take it to heart, Try not to let the rejection affect you. Be calm by taking longer breaths and telling the words to pass away.

Make Yourself Unavailable
Toxic people generally have the ability to identify who can control. They may drop the idea as they might not see the effect if they keep going on you. In case you are not reachable this may make them to also give up as they lose hope in attempting to reach out. This could be useful if you need to vent out at work by using a variety of excuses such as having to finish things before the deadline or preparing for an important meeting. Ignore passive-aggressive remarks.

Limit Your Time
Cut down on the frequency of encountering the person, if you are realizing that you feel uneasy to meeting him/hers beforehand. Toxic people get on you only mean to themselves and quite often pay no attention to all your problems. In their company, I may not always find entertainment. If someone always picks the battle and crosses the limit f you, cut down the time you spend with him/her.

When You Have to Deal With Them
Create and adhere to limits, choose wisely and ask questions before trusting anyone. Identify the behaviour that you will and will not allow and send it with a message. On the other hand, avoid gossip and verbal abuse. Call them out the moment they try to gossip or verbalise bad stuff about someone else. One of the strategies is to have an exit strategy for toxic talks. You aren’t meant to stay in those conversations and therefore, it will be necessary to leave the discussion politely. One, changing your usual behaviour can help you bypass those interactions you don’t want. Encourage them to find a solution for themselves and their behaviours if the situation is related to personal struggles.

Never Get Personal
Confining your interactions with a toxic individual to shallow conversations is advisable. You have to be specific about how you intend to involve the agency in this plan. Don’t do gossiping, too much revealing of personal matters and discussions that are very interesting topics. When they ask, defuse the situation with “I care to keep the information about my private life private at work. ”

Stay Calm
Stay grounded during interactions. Pause for a moment, take a deep breath, loosen your muscles, and give yourself a chance to calm down and listen to their words. Sit quietly and wholly ignore yourself instead of thinking about something calming. If it is possible, distract yourself from the situation. These techniques can be applied to cope with anxiety and make sure you stay in control to prepare for tougher times.