Absolutely we’ve all been there – at least once in lifetime – those terrible days of post breakup, when the only thing you would like to do is pull covers on the bed and hide yourself from the whole world. Mind you, it doesn’t matter if they break up or you do since you both left each other.
When it comes to break ups, there is a great chance that you are hardly like many people who don’t handle those things as healthily as they are expected to. The mood swings that occur when sadness finally hits can sometimes push you to forget the other means of coping with your sorry state and resort to drowning your sorrows with food or drinks. On the contrary, it’s possible that you’re too self-blaming and you bear all the responsibility for everything that went wrong. How many coping mechanisms have you used so far? Most definitely, your question now is there is a more effective way to cope through this kind of heartache.
Mental damage a person might have caused by separation
The pressure exerted on social life to “move on” after a breakup nevertheless, may have a serious consequence on one’s psychological state. Depressive episodes, apprehension, and self-image issues can all be aggravated to a greater extent by the process of a relationship breakup. A beginning of a relationship loss even though it’s not you who separated from someone can be rather hard to deal with. Those moments that are left are in between sadness, depression, but also the fact of leaving people that could’ve actually change a life and communication with them is lost. We express ourselves with love, we expose our most private, the most vulnerable parts of ourselves to our relationships, so to let them go is not easy, it takes accepting that the bond will not last forever. What feelings can develop after a breakup is very complicated among which might be the sense of estrangement, abandonment, void, and helplessness, which frequently could plunge a person into depression and even the thought about suicide.
Our bodies and breakups
There is a chemical reason for why we are drawn to love romantically – serotonin and dopamine are two neurotransmitters whose levels rise when one falls in love. When a person becomes single, it is possible they are subject to a hormone hormonal crash (withdrawal), which can lead to despair. One recent study reported that brains burdened with irretrievable love appear structurally similar to those of people deprived of narcotics if viewed by MRI.
In 2009, scientists demonstrated how to show subjects having the broken hearts pictures of their past love partners and study their brains. Researchers on the other hand found not only an activation of pain-related areas but also an anatomical reorganization of stimuli processing. The breakup seems as if our own body was reduced to such piece as a broken limb or other internal injury. Another study had this to say: acetaminophen is strong enough to relieve a pain! Of course it is clear why romantic failures test our body and spirit.
Besides studies, other researches have outlined the changes happening in both men and women after the breakup. Another research established that continued partners’ get intertwined biology cycles. Break ups can lead to poor sleep, loss of appetite, alteration of the body temperature, and abnormal body restoration rate. This, on the other hand, can cause a serious reduction of the natural defense system, as the weakening of the immune system will increase the chance of catching the usual cold and some viruses that will result in their spread.
Allow the sadness and processing to take place
Attempt to swallow those pain, trauma, denied, or other negative memory that we have after getting a breakup is one of the worst things we can do. We are adopted for our security, and the social pressure to get through the split is significantly evident when the break down is voluntary. It’s the old saying, you know if it’s going to end that doesn’t make it easier to bear or less painful. To get over a breakup, one needs to accept all the feelings that come with it to help in healing, growth and the moving on process.
Please be easy with yourself
Following a breakup, we tend to see through the relationship in a new light, by looking back at the faults, and seeking out what had gone bad. It is an easy bend to the way of scolding yourself. If things become too complicated, it is more convenient and comfortable to focus on our own mistakes and not to assume that someone we adored deeply might be the cause of some harm. It is understandable that rarely undergoes a black-and-white relationship that we have is often culpable for it. On the other hand, a breakup fairness is top priority, and when you go into a blaming culprit, you need to self-compassion to oneself.
Thus, this action could be a release of you grief, finding the healing, and acceptance of the relationship. There might even be a point where you will feel the same care and compassion towards your ex when you are mutually working toward a closure.
Rediscover yourself
It can be that a relationship have a huge effect on you, as the positive becomes the negative, and you could be lost in one person. The foremost the more you share your selves the more you will have changed to follow similar to you interests as well as desires. A lot of people in this case also become somebody because of their relationship with their ex. However, this is usually seen in long-term relationships where it would take years to regain your old image after the split.
Recent studies unveil that the rediscovery of your identity might be very helpful in your booming process. To every person that is own peculiar way which entails getting the balance between the hustles of the city and into the depths of the wilderness. The best place to begin is your own heart. Make a list of your happy moments and maintain those moments how you wish them to be. It should not be a demanding process. It is not by replacing your old mate with another person that you reclaim the pieces of yourself and the parts of your life that you kept at bay during the involvement. When you do, pay attention to what it is like when it is, in fact, achievable on your own. Is it awkward? Scary? Exciting? Liberating? All of that? Through doing things that you like, you may discover your own unique self and the self-assurance to lose that tense atmosphere after the breakup.
Search for and acquire spaces for education and self-development
You can just as easily imagine that you spent not only time but also energy on a futile battle. Even the unsuccessful happening serve as the lessons and the crucial values of growth. Post-breakup time can be essential in realizing self-establishment which might had questioned before. One of the important consequences of hitting rock bottom can be your improved skill at advocating your needs since you have felt so powerless. The aftermaths of breakups bring us a couple of things that give us a chance to comprehend the myths, as well as unhealthy types of romantic relationships. If you look at relationship as something that can finish, it could be possible to ask yourself some questions: when your feelings were inappropriate or unjustified and when they occurred, and how you want to behave differently in the next relationships.
Recall what had broken apart or really became part of your relationship bad
Following the ending of a relationship, we are mindfully aware of the positive aspects of the union; the individual traits that initially drew us toward them, the support and peace they provided, and the bond that we have shared prior to its disruption. Lost love rocks the period of grieving may involve such elements. It might be the more objective look of it that will help you move one when eventually you can. Try to see it from the side of your partner: how did it let the breakup happen. Recollect yourself as a person bound to be disappointed by the one you love, and ask why it didn’t work for you. Researchers have shown not only that updating helps to forget the past and look forward to the future, but also that this is in accordance with theory ranging from studies of attachment to restructuring of the emotional world.
Get professional support
A major thing that makes the deal-break up so draining is that one is emotionally drained such that it is impossible to move on without support. A licensed therapist, whether it is an individual or team, is best suited to help you in revealing, analysing and conflict resolution as per your feelings which may be complicated when a breakup happens. It is better to see a therapist and they can give you the guidelines and be with you as you are still adjusting to everything without your ex. I hope they can help you heal and you can move on from grief to whatever may come next.
We welcome you to reach out to us at info@mindtopsychology.com for any questions or support regarding mental health. Your well-being matters, and we’re here to help.
