Whether to leave your partner or boyfriend or to stay with him is a huge matter, and you should think about it thoroughly, keeping in mind how you feel about the two people and the two relationships. If you have an affair (being married but also with someone else), then that might indicate that you have something not fixed in your marriage that needs to be sorted out. If you find it hard to genuinely like or even love your husband, or if the marriage feels more like it’s being forced, it can be an indication that maybe it would be best for both parties to end the marriage mutually. Nevertheless, it is important that you have an open and honest discussion with your husband about how you feel so you can avoid bigger issues later on. In addition, if you and your husband were once drawn together by a deep emotional connection, it might be a good idea to try and rekindle it and sort out any relationship problems that have come up. Remember the reasons for your togetherness and constantly watch the positive part of your relationship in order to make the right decision.
Let’s take a decision
At the end of the day, it is all about you choosing to be genuinely happy and the wellbeing of the rest of the people that surround you. A good help can also be provided by the advice sought from friends, members of the family or therapist in order to gain the right perspective concerning this life challenge. Before making your final decision, go through the checklist below and consider each point carefully.
Reflect on Feelings: Exploring your feelings towards your husband or your boyfriend will be beneficial. Do you enjoy the single life or coupledom better? Do you think you are more filled with both joy and hurt in one relationship?
Evaluate Compatibility: Analyse the level of compatibility of each partner and select the most suitable one in the end. Do they feel, in comparison with your husband and your boyfriend, that they have the same values, aspirations, and interests?
Assess Communication: Rethink the communication quality among the two parties. Do you feel like you can share your feelings and thoughts with everyone you interact with in the right way?
Consider Commitment: Remember how much time you have spent with each one. Do you and your husband ensure a partnership that makes the marriage long-lasting? Has your boyfriend decided to stay in a long-term relationship?
Reflect on Trust: Measure the level of confidence of both parties. Do you trust your husband and your boyfriend with the same level? Does anybody share their personal experience involving betrayal which finally made them stand up to talking about it?
Review Support Systems: Reflect on the support offered in each of the relationships from the points of view of the social and professional life. Can your husband and boyfriend provide you a good care and support in such issues? How can you hold on to your emotional stability under those circumstances?
Assess Long-Term Compatibility: Wrangle up a picture of the future with each one of them. Make that last minute, sobering, and final decision. Do it so you could imagine what the bright future with your husband or your boyfriend is like.
Reflect on Resentment: Talk about any feelings of anger or unhappiness that comes to you as an aftermath of problems with both men. Are the conflicts, which were stemming from the past, still remaining before the decision-making process?
Think about Family Dynamics: Think over the way your choice might affect your family members and close persons. Are you prepared for the life-changing decision how it will affect your children, if any, and other relatives?
Look for External Perspective: Try speaking to the people close to you who won’t judge you or a professional with whom you feel safe enough to share your thoughts and feelings.
