Maybe one of your loved ones is suffering from cancer, and you don’t know how to take care of their mental health or how to keep that person motivated to cope with the bitter truth and undergo treatment. So you are in the right place; here we will describe the ways you can handle a cancer patient’s mental state.
It is not easy for one to accept that they have a disease. The first thing that comes to mind is ‘why me’? Apart from billions of people in the world, why did I get affected by this disease? Also, during the treatment, the person starts to feel themselves replaceable not only from the family and society but also from the world, you can say.
You can simply search on the internet and find some so-called methods to deal with a cancer patient. But I feel those articles really lack empathy. If you want to make a cancer patient happy or mentally strong, the very first thing is to sit in their chair and see the world from their eyes. Only then can you realize what they actually want from others: to hold onto their hope, the hope of getting back to a normal life again. Apart from those sufferings, a cancer patient could also suffer financially. It is a death before death. Before knowing how to support a cancer patient emotionally, you should know what not to say to them so that you can easily filter what are the things you should say.
“Don’t worry” Seriously? Simply telling your friend not to worry about the illness they’re experiencing cannot actually prevent them from worrying. Instead, it may make them feel isolated and recognize that their life is not in its usual state.
“God will take care of it“ or “This is God’s Plan” This make is situation look easier than it is and can cause a person to feel a false sense of hope. This further stress the patient by the fact that they are unable to control what is happening to them.
“Oh, you’ll be fine!” Doesn’t sound like a bad thing to say, at all! However, if a person has a serious disease, a phrase like that or, “Don’t worry”, can be misinterpreted as being unaware of the gravity of the matter.
“You don’t look like you did before” These might be also the ones to say funny things like ” At least you are losing weight!”, and pretty sure they are well aware of how they look and how weight loss (or gain) may not be taken traditionally as something positive.
“I understand the way you’re feeling” Don’t pretend to know exactly how your friend is experiencing; even if you’ve had a major illness yourself, you don’t know exactly how they feel. This may give the impression that their circumstances are unimportant, even when, in their eyes, they could be the most important thing in the world.
Strategies for Coping with a Loved One Diagnosed with Cancer
“Meet them in person” In the era of video calling, you really should make an effort to meet that person in person. It may not seem like a big deal to us, but trust me, from their perspective, it means the world that someone made the effort to meet them face-to-face, showing that they truly matter.
“Don’t make them feel helpless” When you meet them in person, make sure you treat them as a normal person rather than someone with a disability. Don’t try to over-help if they don’t ask for it. Or it may create the thought that you see them as helpless, which will eventually drain their mind.
“Avoid blaming them“. This isn’t the moment to make the person feel responsible for their diagnosis. For instance, if someone has lung cancer or liver cancer and has been a smoker or alcoholic for a long time, it’s not appropriate to blame them for their decision to smoke or drink, which may have been responsible for the cancer.
“Invite them” Don’t isolate or exclude the loved one just because of their illness. Invite them as you normally would. Keep them included in every gathering; it is your duty to invite them. Let the decision to join be theirs. They may not feel physically comfortable, but the support you show by inviting them can fill their heart with joy.
“Offer them understanding and compassion” Your loved one is very likely to be very stressed and the medication and treatments that he/she takes could affect his/her mood and hormones. In addition, tell them about their condition. They might not be the same as they used to be and they may act differently from how they behaved before their diagnosis.
“Avoid making the treatment process their sole identity” If everyone keeps talking about the treatment process every time they see them, the chemotherapy or treatment will automatically become their identity. It will leave them feeling hopeless.
Moving towards embracing reality
Cancer is the disease, but it has more than just physical implications. At the same time, it is a multidimensional battle that affects not only the physical body but the mind, the spirit and the body as well. Psychotherapy is a core process in the treatment of the emotional and psychological associated with cancer and the medical therapies address only the physical parts of the disease. Psychotherapy has become a leading treatment for cancer patients as of now because of the immense contribution it makes to the psychological well-being and the overall quality of life of the patients.
