Once, a person asked for advice and carried out the process wholeheartedly, finding a way that was true for them. But on the other hand, when she selectively follows the suggestion offered by a workmate, the workplace eventually becomes a battlefield where the coworker is infuriated. This in turn showed that my co-worker’s real assistance was rather condescending and, to be very honest, was about the exertion of power and control. Next, the woman began to date another coworker, but soon into the relationship, it became hostile, which made her feel that her family didn’t care anymore, and she left her job and moved to another state.
The following story shows how, without rational thinking and simply trusting and following the points of self-help advice, you may get into harmful games that may even injure and hurt you emotionally.
The trouble is that self-help can get poisonous when a person becomes so consequent and begins feeling his/her self-worth and life into it. Instead, it seems that they reproduce a kind of drug addiction, taking what’s good and integrating it profoundly into their lives. This leaves them dependent on it as their savior. These often become the object of idolatry and are perceived as having supernatural power, while the rationality of the followers becomes subordinate to the will to acquire the guru’s teachings.
A long tradition of self-help resources can be traced back to ancient times, but the negative and toxic form of self-help books in the 21st century is quite different from the original self-help books. Nowadays, the self-help culture that used to be created to uplift one’s low self-esteem gives “fame and fortune” more priority over “health and fitness,” and most importantly, promotes unhealthy lifestyles and mindsets.
There is a widespread notion that success comes with time, sleep, and the leisure you sacrifice for the never-ending work. You can see it in the social media posts that celebrate waking up very early. In the posts, the person is being praised for waking up at an “ungodly” time for the so-called mental edge. But these caught-up messages are mostly to ignore the area of rest and care for oneself but to generate an unrealistic concept of productivity through excessive working.
Unrealistic self-improvement motivations from social media
YouTube, as well as many other resources, contains self-help material in which the speakers are enthusiastic and advise their audiences to develop new life patterns or outlooks on themselves. But this piece of advice, along with other life-changing patterns of behavior, seeks to change people at the core level—their identity and value system.
Social media is largely responsible for the selfish and egocentric attitude that is prevalent today by having everyone rush to social media to post their own imitation of self-improvement techniques, emphasizing materialism at the cost of real happiness. The differentiation between good advice and harmful ideologies in the midst of the flood of motivational content takes much effort.
However, self-development should, in principle, first target mental health and the substance of one’s personal growth, but the many modern self-help guides to well-being deal excessively with the facade rather than the genuineness of success, and hence, young people, in their quest to match this “perfect lifestyle,” seem to be heading down the path of false happiness and identity crisis. If real self-improvement is to be an effective tool for non-violation of one’s core beliefs and happiness, it has to welcome the change without hindering the core self’s beliefs.
Things that unrealistic self-improvement motivations inject into your mind
- Emphasis on material wealth
- Unhealthy work habits
- Identity distortion
- Influence of social media
- Lack of genuine happiness
- Blurred boundaries
- Sacrifice of important values
Facing the Right Direction
When people try to improve themselves, they often run into a strange problem: what may be true is that they are growing personally, but they may also catch a trick that will be poisonous to their health. In short, it’s being ready that mistakes can occur when you’re tired, and it’s also critical to stay focused and maintain a balance in your inner life to succeed.
It is a natural and good thing when people try to improve their lives, competitive work atmosphere, community, and country. Examples of having an incentive to grow yourself are being more successful at work, experiencing an improved life, and having a stronger relationship. It is a part of us that runs deep. On the contrary, it is rarely that the shortest way to self-improvement is not problematic. It could be difficult for me, as there are many uncontrollable factors that may hold us back in our progress as a person.
The first con is that in our present-day society, people mostly pay attention to the money or work awards but not to their real health. In our journey through the triumphs and tribulations of this spiritual path to success, we neglect sleep, relaxation, and self-care just to check off things from our to-do lists. It is possible that we freeze up and become tired due to such a relentless desire to succeed, and on the other hand, the more reluctant we are to do some of the tasks properly,. That is a more frustrating fact, as self-help media and social pressure arise around the philosophical thoughts of an individual and induce them to achieve higher levels of efficiency. A situation occurs when a person loses touch with the physical reality and their respect for others when they follow Instagram followers and posers, and they may think that is the only way to be successful through diets, changing their lifestyle, and hiding who they are in fact in order to get what seems to be success.
some practical steps suggested by experts
In our era, the majority of youth are surrounded by the lusterous mask of the social media success stories and the temptations of the easy fix self-help solutions which they operate on the platform of unrealistic expectations. Nevertheless, the real growth and development process is not about sudden upgrading or substantial shift, but rather it is the passage of time with little bit by bit progress and growing. Therefore, it is important to see where you can grow yourself realistically?
Let’s explore some practical steps on this journey:
Make goals that you can reach: If you take your ultimate objectives, it is best to separate them into smaller SMART steps considering the example. You must try to begin with the definition of achievable, but not demanding goals that gradually build up. This is the best part about it because that apart from making it simple for you to reach your goals, it also helps to see how you are progressing.
Learn to be kind to yourself: Recall the truth that the occurrence of errors and failures are a permissible act on the way of achieving personal perfection. So if you tend to be self-critical, you have to replace it with self-compassion where you speak in a kind tone to yourself like you would with your dear friend. Be gentle and tolerant towards yourself just like you would co-operate with a friend who is going through similar problems.
Put consistency ahead of perfection: To get the same result, inaction for a longer period of time is preferable than intense bursts of activity. Concentrate on the keeping of the resulting habits and routines that will last you a life long in the wanting of your goals. If you are committed to consistency by doing little actions everyday, you can get the big results over time.
Be open to learning all the time: Be prepared to learn which is your successes and your failures and don´t forget that it is ok when you try to give your best and still don´t reach the goal. Always look for opportunities to help you advance and to learn, such as professional training, or working your way up. Learn to take criticism positively, apply those remark in improving the self.
Build relationships that help each other: Engage in a healthy environment with in, where your friends will give you support and push you to even greater challenges. Look for partners among friends, family, mentors, or fellow travelers, who can lift you up and not allow you to stow your dreams aside or do what you love.
Practice being mindful and thinking about yourself: Spend some time any moment you feel disturbed, and relax, then think, and come to realization of your true self. Breathing exercises or just a mindful moment can help you gain an objectivist perception of your thoughts and actions thus making them less devouring for you.
Pay attention to your health and well-being: Think that real personal improvement is not that you have made it to your objectives but includes the process of trying to do so. Moreover, you will be doing this with the goal of achieving general improvement of your health and life. Be sure to do stuff that is going to be good for you such as exercise, nutrition, sleep enough, and manage stress of your life. A healthy mind and body are the essential elements that facilitate the personal wellbeing of an individual.
Be proud of progress, not perfection: In fact, no matter how little your victories may seem, you should be proud of them. The smallest step that you make towards your purposes is something to be proud of and the reflection of the desire to be better. Pause to see your progress and use it to go on.
Final thoughts
In summary, realistic self-improvement is engaging in the process, its glads and sorrows, and a vow to grow and develop. Setting achievable goals, self-compassion, prioritizing consistency, supportive relationships, mindfulness progress, health and well-being, and small celebrations are all the things that will start a journey of real and long-term personal growth. Remember that self-improvement usually is rather a difficult and complex task but efforts spent on it are always rewarded.
